It’s late . . . and I’m tired

I want to write something meaningful, upbeat, and hopeful, but I just don’t have the energy.  Being the care giver for someone who used to be your partner, but now depends on you to make their day work right, is exhausting.  We are at this stage of limbo with my husband’s PD where he doesn’t need an outside caregiver  to come in and take care of him, but there is so much he gets confused about or can’t remember that it takes me being on duty pretty much 24/7 to make sure his day goes like it needs to. I live two people’s lives — but the part that is my own life is very much eclipsed by Brian’s needs.  And, every night it is the same . . . I am exhausted.

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A word about me . . .

I have decided that I need this blog to keep my sanity, or at least what is left of it.  Twelve years ago my husband was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease, better known simply as PD, though there is nothing simple about it.  Sometimes I feel like my husband and I are the only two people in the world . . . the disease can be that isolating.  Friends and family are caring and well-meaning, but, unless you have first hand experience with  the disease, and know the zig-zag, unpredictable course that is one of its hallmarks, you can sympathize, but never empathize.  Alas, that is true for so much of life.  In the last three years my husband’s PD seems to have ratcheted itself up a few notches, and, in doing so, overturned both of our lives. Of late I have often  found myself floundering.  I have felt the need to put my thoughts and feelings into words and, in doing so, find solace, peace, and a connection to others on the same path on which I now find myself.  So, here I am.  I am ready to share my journey here with you.